Knowing well how these days every simple question getting turned into the selfish argument on who’s way is the best to satisfy our individual egos, we will start from clarifying what this article is not about:
- it is not about which form of Judaism is better for all
- it is not about us telling you which branch of Judaism is better for you specifically
- it is not about criticizing any denomination in any way
This article will advice every individual on how to run a self check to know for yourself whether you are on the right path to spiritual growth or you are stuck in complying with your environment, without any progress or worse – degenerating…
There are many denominations of Judaism: Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Ultra-orthodox, Chasidim, Yemenites (as a way of worship), Karaites and most probably some more. All of the mentioned here comprise within them even a more diverse range of different worship and theology. These wide scope of ideas, theologies, observances, in many aspects are mutually exclusive between denominations. For example considering orthodox and, say, Neturei Karta, one is pro-Israel and somewhat active in settling the land of the Patriarchs, another is anti-Israel to the point of aligning themselves with enemies of Jewish people. The difference is no less than antagonistic. Although the author of this article will agree with anyone who will reject even mentioning Neturei Karta as a Jewish denomination (as Jewish joke goes “they are so far off the center that they fell off the edge”), yet, for the purpose of discussion we need to show the wide range at least based on the Judaic observances and Neturei Karta, at least on the surface, observe Jewish Halacha.
To check yourself if we are on the right path, we need first to identify what results do we want to get? How do we know the outcome of the probe? Only then we will know which method is good or not. This question must be answered first.
If you have examinations on graduating the cooking school, how do you know if you are a good cook? You taste the food prepared and know the result by your immediate sensual experience. If you have examinations after study in the art school, your test will include some making of the piece of art and you yourself and other people (teachers) will have a visual experience of the result of your labor. You yourself will have a personal sensual experience as a result of your personal growth as an artist (for the purpose of discussion we will not care about the difference between your opinion and opinion of your teachers, but rather dwell on the premise that the art is a very personal expression, so is the result of worship). How stupid it would be for you to “learn” from another “authority” whether your prepared food is good , it is you who should taste it (particularly if you intend to cook for yourself not for profit! which is our case with worship). You can only learn from another authority how to make it better if you don’t like your cooking but not learning from somebody if your cooking is good for taste…
So is with worship. The outcome of the check and probe of your way of worship, your path in Judaism, must be evaluated not by somebody’s opinion, but by you personally. Only you will be the judge, nobody else.
Now to the next question: what should you feel, what should you experience as a result of worship? This is not a food or piece of art to see or taste. Which sense should you engage to check where you are in your worship? As we always say, the right question will bring the right answer.
There is a whole group of the senses which each individual possesses but they are in kind of hibernating state until individual wakes them up. They belong to the soul, we Jews call it Neshama. Although not perceived normally by humans, this is the essence of what the human being is. Waking up a whole group of these senses is a result of the spiritual development or growth. To say that these senses are as natural as your body senses, is not enough, as they are much stronger eventually overshadowing the usual bodily senses. Development of those senses, or so to speak waking them up, is the whole purpose of spirituality, religion, of Torah study. Very often the spiritual literature assigns them to one sense sometimes called a spiritual sense, a spiritual eye, a Divine intuition, or even eludes this sense to a whole process of Ruach Hakodesh and rightly so as the process is inseparable from the sense developed by it.
The process of the spiritual growth is nothing else but awakening of this sense. Experiencing it personally. As real as your breathing as your seeing or your hearing.
It “happens” that this awakened spiritual sense is a channel of communication with God. If you grow in your way of worship, this sense or feeling wakes up. You feel it. It is part of you. Once you feel it, you realize – IT IS YOU.
This is the goal. To get there you need to know the stages as the process is gradual and very subtle.
After each service in synagogue, after each prayer, tune up with your internal mind. Witness it. What is your state? Check the following:
Do you feel the presence of God somewhere close to you ? (although there is no 3 dimensional attribute to this feeling…) Do you feel kind of elevation or lightness? It seems that it became easier to breath … Most importantly, quite practical feeling of unusual confidence, stronger than before… this confidence is similar to a confidence of a child when a loving parent is nearby… Feeling of increased purpose … Unshakable perception of being on the right path … now it does not matter “what they say” whoever they are … some detachment from the “past reality” into the “new reality” you never experienced before and now getting deeper and deeper into this …
For unrealized it sounds here as kind of hallucination. It might be questioned how do you know this feeling is real and not a hallucination? It is right question to ask. The answer is similar to ” how do you know that after waking up from the dream in sleep, your waking state of mind is truer or more real than your dream?” It is because you experience those both state of consciousness and comparing them both you know which one is real. Again, the result of your comparison quite sensual and perceptive. You would laugh if somebody have told you the opposite that your dream is more real than your waking state. Only your experience is your judge. After having the new experience with new spiritual sense woken, you will know the path, the trend to spiritual growth and, given the level of your new experience, you will know the result.
This is the path of King David. This was a state of mind in which he wrote his Psalms.This is a spiritual perception, spiritual sense, the process of Ruach Hakodesh, which alone provide the ultimate result of your spiritual development.
This is your check and probe. The slight difference toward this goal, the difference between “before the prayer” and “after the prayer”, “before meditation” and “after meditation”, no matter how subtle the process of awakening is – this is the only goal, the result and the purpose.
Beware though. Don’t confuse this good feeling with bodily sensory feelings of good, such as sense of comradeship, socializing with friends in the shul, elevated mental state from large group prayer – these all are feelings brought up by psychological result of socializing with large group of people – quite different phenomenon well described in publications of psychologists but has nothing to do with spiritual development.
Spiritual sense revealed in a complete solitude. Read Psalms of king David. Learn from them all the details of this sense. If you are sincere you will not need anything else to verify your development of spiritual intuition. Check your experience against the words of King David.
May you experience the Voice of the Ruler in the quietness of your subdued mind.
Yesher Koach.
